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Discovering the Golden Years |
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This is the first sunrise of the New Millennium.
Dressing for Retirement!Not only should you dress after you retire; you should dress very carefully. Nudity is usually not very appealing in senior citizens so for my own personal pleasure I would rather leave nudity to the very young. Actually most of the young should require community approval for nudity. Your dress speaks to others of your state of mind. If you use
retirement as an excuse to dress like a bum chances are people will think
of you as a bum. It is easy to take the attitude that now that you don’t
have to go to work it is ok for you to wear your old grubby clothing. Save those clothes for gardening or cutting the grass. Set
aside an hour a day for routine household chores. When you are in your
grubby clothes it is time to do chores. Now that you have been liberated
from the drudgery of the work-a-day world you have reached a rank of
nobility that demands proper attire. On the other hand I know that some of you are so conditioned
to wearing a suit every day that you will quite naturally continue this
into retirement. This also is a wrong course. There should be no suits or
ties in retirement. I suggest saving the largest suit for your ultimate
burial and give the rest to Goodwill. If you keep them they will just make
you sad in a few years, when you can’t get into the pants. Ties also should
be given away. Ties are the ultimate symbol of our enslavement to the
military industrial complex. One of the world’s great needs is a worldwide franchise
business that converts old ties into something useful. This may be the
liberation activity you have been looking for! Maybe use some of the most
colorful to assemble a liberation banner to put up in front of your home to
let people know that you are now free. The drab ties could be used as
slings for arm injuries or maybe to secure IPODS while your exercising. If no suits birthday or otherwise are allowed after liberation
than what exactly should you wear. The answer is now every day is casual
Friday; wear shirts and slacks appropriate for the weather and season. You
might need considerable refurbishment of your wardrobe since there are now
seven Fridays in every week. In simplest terms there are three seasons –
winter, summer and fall/spring. This translates into three weights of
clothing – heavy, light and intermediate. For the winter you will need a
few sweaters and a few sweatshirts. In the summer you can wear shorts for
casual activities. It is very important to add a camping philosophy into your
wardrobe planning. What I mean is the layered approach so that you can
conveniently add or subtract a layer depending on whether you are having
hot or cold flashes. I have always felt that one of the secrets to good
health is to keep your body in thermal equilibrium, never allow thermal
gradients to establish themselves across your body. This fundamental
principle leads naturally into a discussion of head and footwear. I recommend always wearing a hat with a wide brim or bill. As
you age your eyes become more sensitive to glare either directly from the
sun or from reflections of its image. Even though less blood is surging
into your brain as you get older, still a large percentage of the blood
flow still goes to the head and without a hat you can loose significant
amounts of energy in the winter. In the summer the opposite is true you
want to keep the direct impingement of thermal energy on your head to a
minimum. We are much more susceptible to sun stroke in our later years. These same ideas also apply to footwear. Always wear woolen
socks in the winter. And make sure that if your socks get wet you change
them immediately. For this reason I strongly recommend always carrying an
extra pair of sock. You feet are very fragile and it is in your best
interest to take good care of them. Make sure your shoes are neither to
tight or to loose. If you develop any sore spots deal with them
immediately, they can lead to bunions or much worse. Cut you toe nails
every few days. If you can’t see them or reach them; then initiate a buddy
system where you do each other’s toenails. You will be able to determine
who your real best friend is. If you are going to walk extensively wear
tennis shoes. People fear old ladies in tennis shoes, because they are
obviously much smarter than the rest of us. This is especially true of
people wearing wingtips or high heels. When the demands of style cause you
to inflict pain on yourself you know you are going crazy or already there.
The Babylonians invented high heels because they made their harem girls
more attractive when viewed for the rear. Avoid harems wear flat shoes! And finally let me discuss underwear. If you already wear
Depends some of these comments might not apply to you. It is simple, change
your underwear three times a day minimum. If you always find them damp it
is time to start on Depends. If you tend to dribble but are still in denial
about wearing Depends then wear the hybrid underwear it keeps the pee from
running into your shoe. |
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