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This is the first sunrise of the New Millennium.
Retirement the Penultimate Transition
All transitions are scary. We all like the status quo. We know
what to expect, few surprises. We feel safe. The present is an equilibrium
condition, why rock the boat? We wonder are we giving up something that we
can't get back? Is a door slamming shut that we can't open ever again. We wonder
if people will think of in the same way? Will we be able to survive
economically? And what about our identity, many of us identify ourselves by
our jobs. What do we say at a party when people ask us what we do for a
living or what business we are in?
I personally was very frightened and very worried. But I became convinced
that I was going to die on the beltway during my daily commute. Everyday I
saw accidents many that were apparently fatal to someone. But I had been
commuting for forty years, I wondered if I could in fact keep myself from
commuting. I wondered if I would miss the excitement and competion of
commuting. After retirement would I still get in the car every morning and
drive around the Washington beltway out of habit? I discovered that I did
miss the sense of motion, but that I could supplement my old commute needs
with driving to the grocery store, the bank or the gym. I discovered I
really didn't have to risk my life every day to stay alert.
Since I retired from the government, doors were slamming shut. It is not
possible to undo the paperwork and show up for work saying it was just a
joke I changed my mind. I missed the work. I missed trying to solve the
problems that our group had. I missed the people. Taking your self out of a
social context, terminating relationships abruptly; even if situations were
often stressful it creates a void. I found myself really missing the
interactions missing the people. And it is a loss and it does vanish from
your life.
Your identity vanishes also. To most people you are what you do. If you are
retired you do nothing so you are nothing. This brings up an important
distinction. You retire from a company or a job. But you can still consider
yourself not "retired". To be retired is to a degree to be on the
scrap heap. The junkyard dog is get some respect, but everything else is
junk, useless. You leave one situation and go on to another situation, my
advice is don't tell people you are retired.
I've tried turning tables on people. When they ask me what work I do at a
cocktail party, I say I don't work! And then I inquire of them, "do
you still work?" If they say they do, I say "oh thats too
bad." They usually end up being irritated. So
don't irritate people, tell they your writing a
critique of the Bush Administration or better yet the Harrison
Administration.
But more important to your state of mind don't think of yourself as in a
state of retirement. Think of yourself as FREE! And have a plan on how to
use your freedom.
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